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Establishing Rapport with Difficult People

3/3/2020

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As part of our thirst to improve the interpersonal skills of change makers we are often asked how to deal more effectively with difficult people and in difficult situations. How do you deal with the;

  • Heckler who interrupts during a major presentation
  • Manager who over-talks on every occasion and fails to listen
  • Employee who does not want to sit through an assessment
  • Boss who puts task before people
  • Team Leader who fails to deliver objective, timely and equitable appraisals
  • Cynic who rejects any commitment to change when attending a training event
  • Senior managers who over evaluate and get stuck in the detail
  • Colleagues who fail to share responsibility for a joint project
  • Direct Reports who conform only sufficiently to avoid dismissal
  • Staff who think the business owes them a living
  • Long server who equates attendance and length of employment with advancement up the business
Problem Employee

There are literally thousands of situations which require managers and team leader at all levels to deal effectively with the problem employee and it is not so easy without tuition, support, practice and a set of trusted techniques that work.

Specific Workshop to Deal with the Issues

We have designed a process to aid those organisations who are experiencing bad behaviour. This is a powerful and energetic workshop experience “Establishing Rapport and Winning over Difficult People”.

How does it work?

We visit with you to establish the key issues you would like to address. Maybe it is an issue related to “change management” or “post merger or acquisition” problems where there is difficulty in getting the new business to settle down into a running format.

There may be a requirement to change the culture of the organisation to become widely customer focused, both internally and externally and to get into the 21st Century. it could be that staff need a complete overhaul in “performance management”, giving and receiving feedback. Whatever the context, we can help support you in this most difficult area and most difficult time

Benefits of the Workshop

All participants take an active role in a highly interactive Workshop and leave at the end of the session being able to:
  • Assess “bad behaviour” in any of its formats
  • Develop strategies for dealing with bad behaviour
  • Assess core symptoms
  • Walk in the boots of those awkward people and see the world from their perspective
  • Prepare and deliver bad news
  • Apply questioning techniques to explore why people will not co-operate
  • Listen to the concerns of others and develop “scenario switching”
  • Apply reframing techniques to get others to think differently
  • Examine selling strategies and how they work
  • Differentiate passive from active resistance to change – learn to move people along their change curve
  • Explore and counter the core defence mechanisms that people employ to avoid doing what you want them to do
  • Work in role play exercises to improve personal performance
  • Read “bad behaviour” before receiving it
  • Develop techniques to counter the negative before it hits
  • Learn to read and manage their boss
For more details on how we can help your Team Leaders, Managers and Staff assert themselves, take charge and deal effectively with the difficult person or difficult situation, phone Ann on 44(0)131-346-1276 or email us

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Where do you fit on the Communication Matrix?

14/2/2020

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I use a really powerful tool for gauging the appropriate level of communication with my clients, attendees at my workshops and my co facilitators and trainers.  I call it the ‘communication matrix’ and its purpose is to ensure you develop the right communication strategy for your audience and your desired outcomes.

Why use it?

Using it helps you………..
  • Ask questions to learn about people’s motivation, their needs and wants
  • Understands what motivates others such as your clients or your target audience
  • Build your relationship and take you to the next level with your client or audience
  • Create Trust
  • Look at things from the perspective of others
  • better to understand the perspectives of others and create a climate of curiosity and acceptance 
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Here we have four quadrants and two axes.

The vertical axis relates to you ‘actively’ listening to others.  The horizontal axis relates to you leading the conversation.  So, which best fits with your dominant personal communication style?

Listening & Empathy

When we devote time to actively listening, we empathise, we listen to what others say, what they don’t express and what they cannot convey without help.  We build trust by adopting a more passive style to understand their world rather than trying to sell them our world perspective.

Shut Up & Listen for Once

Most people have too much to say and spend too little time listening to others. Ask yourself, do you overplay your pattern of asking questions and enthuse too much, or do you back off and listen patiently?  Are you able to be quiet long enough to observe and really listen? Are you low or high on the y-axis, and in what context?

Listening is the fastest way to build robust relationships that last.

Taking the Lead

When we take charge or lead, we focus more on the horizontal axis and we express our opinions and our position.  We express our thoughts and ambitions, our motivations and ideas.  We will tend to focus our energies on clarifying our expectations, our contributions, provide solutions and drive action.
Where do you fit?
We need to self-assess in which quadrant we are most comfortable and the consequences of not adapting a variety of styles.  Ideally, we should focus on moving towards the assertive quadrant where we have respect for others view of the world and are honestly expressing our views and thoughts, with the purpose on strengthening relationships through rapport building.
Contexts & Real Results
It is really interesting using this as a tool for client and customer relationships, leadership and team development as well as in sales and performance management.  To find out more about how we can structure workshops to meet your communication wants and needs, email Philip.
​
And just before I sign off, you may also find these published articles on Influencing Strategies in the PDFs below of value.
change_mastery_the_persuasion_paradigm_philip_atkinson.pdf
File Size: 1180 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File

influencingstrategies-philip-atkinson.pdf
File Size: 317 kb
File Type: pdf
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"When I hear the words ' Life Coach' I Reach for my Gun"

14/1/2020

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Okay, I have modified the original quote from Herman Goering - that infamous Nazi war criminal. The original quote is "When I hear the word Culture - I reach for my Gun". It was originally a fascist statement against all that is civilised, artistic, cultured and moderate in society.

The term 'Life Coach' is something that is thrust upon one through life experience, sound decision making and wisdom. It is not something a title that can be earned through attending a few weekend workshops.

'In Box' of Life Experience

My inbox is full of promotional emails asking me to attend various 'Life Coaching' events. I believe I can become a Life Coach in a weekend for as little as £520. Wow! With only 10 hours of tuition I can amass the knowledge of the guru's. 


And by merely attending and receiving my certificate of attendance (which is the Life Coaching accreditation) all my problems disappear and suddenly I become the fount of all knowledge.

This means if I attend even more training and submit a portfolio I can run my own course and accredit others. And so the process continues.

Rigour of Coaching Accreditation


There are many worthwhile programmes and accredited programmes in the market place such as Ashridge's MSc in Coaching. But there are also many bogus organisations which have set themselves up to provide Coaching and Life Coaching without any formal assessment.

Evaluation of being able to follow 'best practise' in Coaching is critical. It is no accident that teachers attend a minimum of three years undergraduate study and formal assessment and examination with teaching practise, before they are allowed to teach.

Surely being a Coach means understanding 'Behaviour Change'

I wish the same were true for Life and other Executive Coaching models. A weekend, or even several weeks, is not enough to fully understand the intricacies of the mind, personal motivations, belief systems, learning theories, perception and attitude theories and models of personality, personal change, questioning, counselling and listening to name but few interpersonal skills.

Be warned -  too many Life and Personal Coaching programmes overemphasise  throughput of trainees. Evaluation of past learning and achievement is lax and more emphasis is on attendance on a programme rather than performance,  real learning and skill acquisition. So be warned before you register. In the meantime, I am purchasing a more effective spam filter.


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First Post!

11/12/2019

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    Author

    Philip Atkinson is a strategic  advisor, trainer, coach and author of books and articles on organizational change and leadership 

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